New Love

My cousin died three years ago, leaving behind the wonderful vibrant woman who had been his wife for 46 years. They didn’t have an easy life; he was a firefighter, and a family man. He was in his early twenties, newly married, when he was diagnosed with Krone’s disease, and she was there with him. A few years later, his father died, and he stepped up and became a surrogate father and mentor to his eight younger siblings… and she was there with him. When my cousin died after a too-long illness, my heart broke for his wife who had been with him every step of the way. She was his champion. And now she was alone.

And then this new man came into her life. A nice man, a sweet man, a fun man. They fell madly, passionately in love. I know she didn’t expect this bonus in her life; the surprise in her eyes and laughter is still evident. She tentatively told the family about him, and I think she was surprised by the support that most of them gave her, even her mother-in-law. But she was also disappointed in the ones that judged her and found her wanting.

She came to visit this weekend, bringing her new man to meet us. I think she knew we would welcome him, and we did. He makes her happy. That alone gave him a free pass into our lives. As we got to know him over the past two days, we learned to like him for our own reasons. He meshed.

Our dear cousin-in-law is so happy. She is just laughing and joyful and basking in the luxury of being cherished and loved. It has been a great deal of fun to be around them. They are so sweet, making moon eyes at each other that they didn’t think we caught, holding hands under the table and giggling off to the side when they thought we wouldn’t notice. It made me remember that giddy, just-fell-in-love, can’t-keep-our-hands-off-each-other feeling of being newly together.

He has a Charley Pride song that he says fits the way he feels about her. He brought it in and played it for me and they were giggling and then dancing, right there in my office, twirling around and around. And I went to my darling and we danced, too, in our silly pajamas and bed-head hair. They took us right along with them in their joy.

I am feeling so much older and experienced than my dear cousin, even though she has ten years on me. I find myself giving her advice – I have tread the waters of a new relationship and all the minefields of the families involved, so I do have something to offer. So I chuckle to myself, but tell it like it is anyway, because that is what I do, and she lets me.

But mostly, I am just happy for both of them. They both deserve this happiness, this bonus love in their lives. And I want a piece of it, I do. So I watch, and I smile, and I hold my darling’s hand under the table, and renew that wonderful feeling of being newly in love.

I feel so grateful for my happiness, and theirs. And I feel hopeful for the future, because this lesson is that the future has surprises in store, and they are good.

~Jan